中国史上十大乱世流氓(转贴)
历史上有这样一群人,如果他们不幸生在和平年代,只是一帮一无是处的二流子。在高高在上的正人君子眼里,他们贪婪、好色、奢侈以及为达目的不择手段,仿佛全身上下无一处不讨厌,无一处不烦人,轻财败家丧德败俗这辈子眼看就要毁了。可是有一天,世道突然乱了,所有的一切都没有了秩序,礼法被抛在了一边,道德被践踏在脚下,弱肉强食,一切都要靠枪杆子刀把子说话。正人君子们慌了,吓得纷纷从当权者的位子上跌了下来,逃到一个不被历史所注意的角落,不是凄凄惶惶的“躬耕于南阳”,就是“苟全性命于乱世,不求闻达于诸侯”。他们的理想萎缩到了最小,仅仅是守着二亩地,养活一家三口,捎带着写几本书,骂骂这个跟圣人书里描绘的完全两样儿的世界。
……许多年过去了,整个世界又渐渐平静,颠倒的乾坤又被颠倒了过来。正人君子们战战兢兢的把家门打开了一条缝,他们惊奇的发现,帮助他们理清这个乱七八糟的天下的正是那些他们原来鄙视甚至痛恨的二流子们。他们现在一个个混得人模狗样儿的,自己要是还想过的好一点的话,还得到他们手下央求这帮流氓给自己安排个差使。
有些正人君子由于考虑了是否给这些流氓加文盲拍马屁还耽误了时间,连个象样的饭碗都没捧到,最后被安排给这些流氓写各种本纪和传记。毕竟气不过,于是呼利用自己手里的笔恶狠狠的给这些家伙起了个外号——枭雄。
NO10刘邦
延伸阅读:真实的刘邦:还流氓一个清白
这是个彻头彻尾的流氓,而且是个赤裸裸的色鬼。当年在老家的时候就不学好,村东头有个酒店,店里老板娘有点儿姿色,这小子就天天去,每天都喝个烂醉还说胡话。按理说窈窕书女君子好求也没啥,更可气的是你小子要是想泡美女的话到是在人家面前表现的好一点儿啊,他偏不,还老欠人家钱!!!用现在的说法叫“蹭”,不但蹭色还蹭酒,稍微纯粹一点儿的痞子都看他不上。
就是这么个东西,居然讨了个美女老婆,还是县长的女儿!!!这个老婆也是蹭的,当年他老丈人吕公是县长,摆酒席请客,来巴结的人太多,最后吕公只好定规矩说想上桌的掏钱,钱多的坐前面,钱少的坐后面。这个二流子听了后就来了,在门口喊:“我出一万块!”吕太公傻了,不知道这是个什么人物,赶紧让进来坐上席。吃也吃了喝也喝了,完事儿了一抹嘴儿就走。吕公伸手要钱,该流氓脑袋一拨楞:“我没钱,反正都吃到肚子里去了,反正也吐不出来,反正我就流氓了,你想怎么着吧。”太公一听更傻了,天知道他是老年痴呆了还是真◎◎◎未卜先知预测该流氓将来会当皇帝,居然当着众人冒了一句:“你有老婆没?没有的话当我女婿怎么样?”来喝酒的宾客听后全倒。
这小子娶了媳妇后也不着调,成天游手好闲,他爹看不过去,骂他:“怎么生了你这么个畜生,你瞧瞧你二哥,连种地带做买卖,现在多大的家业,我算看透了,你到死也赶不上他!!!”
许多年过去了,这家伙发了,买卖做的全国都是,没一块儿地不跟他家的姓。这家伙没忘了揶揄他老爹一下:“爹,当年你说我不如我二哥刘仲有出息,你看看现在谁的家业大啊?”刘老爹脸红了……
顺便提一下,这家伙原来叫刘三儿,后来富了后改了个名字,叫刘邦。
后来的事儿大伙都知道个大概了,他当了皇帝,可还是改不了范混的毛病。老骂粗口,动不动就来一句:你老子我怎么怎么着,不分场合,不分人物。有一次,一个大臣有事儿找他,推开门一看,我K,大白天的刘邦正在跟他小老婆戚夫人干两口子在被窝里干的事儿,赶紧退出来要跑。刘邦提着裤子就追了出来,上去就摁倒了该大臣,一下子骑人家脖子上了,笑嘻嘻的问:“你怎么看着我就跑,你把我当成什么样的皇帝了?”这个大臣实在是受不了了,心一横:“陛下,你丫挺的就是比纣王还荒淫暴虐的皇帝。”刘邦呢,没生气,哈哈大笑着放开了该大臣,拍了拍他脑袋:“好小子,你很对我的脾气。”
混帐指数:9
NO9 曹操
这个人就不用说了,前面也谈过了他小时候的一点儿事儿,比如离间他老爹跟叔叔不合之类的。在《裴注》里还写了这样的一个故事:武帝年轻的时候在洛阳做城门小吏,跟袁绍混的很熟,没事儿俩人就在一起喝酒。一天,城郊有一家娶新娘子,曹操跟袁绍说:“乐子来了,敢不敢干一票?”袁绍也是个闯祸的领袖,一下来了兴趣。俩人趁天黑,在人家屋子后面放火,这一家子吓坏了,连新郎带婆家人都出去救火,曹操带着袁绍冲进了新房,伸出了两双罪恶的咸猪手,开始大吃豆腐。把个新娘子吓得尖叫连连,俩人恶作剧够了才跳墙逃跑。
后来当了丞相后,虽然正经了一点儿,可是有时候干事儿也确实不和章法,比如前面提到的他杀掉匈奴使者的故事,人家没招惹他,就是一句话评论,心血来潮说杀就杀。还有,在《三国志。裴注》里曾经提到,曹操放荡不堪,而且纵情欢乐的时候一点儿都不注意影响,经常命令手下的一帮文人说笑话,到搞笑的时候,乐得用拳头擂桌子,还爬在桌子上大笑,弄的一脑袋菜汤也不管不顾。你说这成何体统啊。
混帐指数:8
NO8 慕容垂
在小学的历史课本里说:苻坚在肥水被打败了,然后就亡国了,但是灭了他的并不是东晋。那是谁呢?就是以慕容垂为首的慕容家族。
慕容垂跟好多枭雄一样,也受过罪。前燕没有灭国的时候,他就受排挤,被迫逃到西边来,投降了前秦。苻坚对他非常的好,自己的衣服好,就脱下来给他穿,自己吃的好,推过去给他吃。慕容垂也真是能装孙子,恭恭敬敬的侍奉苻坚,对下面呢,也是谁都不敢得罪,日子过的吧也够可怜的。
可是有一个人不可怜他,就是王猛,王猛怎么看怎么觉得慕容垂不安分,于是对苻坚说:“慕容垂这个人啊,在燕国的时候就很有威望,你瞧瞧他那几个儿子,个个如狼似虎、才干出众。这个人您一定要想办法除掉!”苻坚大大咧咧的说:“他是走投无路才来的,杀了的话,以后谁敢投降我们?他那几个儿子乳臭未干,没事儿,别自己吓唬自己。”王猛沉吟了一下,觉得苻坚的话头半句有一定道理,就没说什么,可是私下一直在谋划。后来慕容垂的一个小儿子由于想家,偷着逃跑了,被王猛抓了回来,王猛乐坏了,兴冲冲的跑到苻坚那里说:“好了好了,有办法了,这次可以株连到慕容垂了!”苻坚不听:“他儿子犯罪跟他有什么关系啊。”王猛苦口婆心的劝:“您什么事儿不依我都可以,就这件事儿,您一定要听我的。”苻坚说:“我什么事儿都听你的,就这件事儿不成,我一定要做一次主。”王猛吐血。慕容垂听了这事儿以后战战兢兢的来到苻坚那里,磕头如捣蒜。苻坚拉起来安慰了他,还好好鼓励他好好做事,不要听谣言。
几年后,王猛死了,苻坚想讨伐东晋,找了好多人商量,大家都不同意。后来找来了慕容垂,慕容垂说:“听别人的干什么?谁还能比陛下您聪明?”这一下马屁拍得正对穴位,苻坚兴奋的拍着慕容垂的肩膀:“跟我成大事的,就是你了!”
后来讨伐东晋,慕容垂狡猾的上书苻坚,让自己帅军殿后,果然兵败之后各路大军都受到了不同程度的损伤,只有慕容垂一枝兵马实力未损。苻坚带着亲兵来投靠慕容垂,慕容垂的儿子们劝他把握机会干掉苻坚。慕容垂阴笑着说:“皇帝现在是死定了,回国后肯定叛乱四起,咱们杀了他那就是独自担当了罪名,我才没那么傻呢。不如好好优待他,送他一程,然后在跟他多要点兵,趁机离开他!”于是优待苻坚,苻坚非常感动,傻忽忽的对手下说:“瞧瞧瞧瞧,王景略当年还要我杀了他,我说慕容垂是个好人吧。”结果慕容垂一路收集败散的兵马,势力得到了进一步扩充,过了黄河后,慕容垂趁机对苻坚说:“河北那一带有点儿骚动,让我去办理吧。”苻坚想都没想就答应了。
慕容垂渡过黄河,抵达了故国,真如蛟龙入海,立刻打起旗号召集旧部,实力疯长,还利用苻坚给他的合法身份大肆扩充军队。苻坚这个时候才有点儿后悔,让宗师的苻飞龙占据了邺,监视慕容垂,并命令自己手下能征贯战的大将石越进军河北。这个时候慕容垂开始翻脸,买通了丁零族的人,纠集了20多万大军围攻邺郡。并命令儿子慕容农对抗石越的援军。苻坚听说慕容垂开始叛变的时候还不当回事儿:“慕容垂居然用一个小孩子来对抗我的石越!石越的军队装备精良,全都穿着精钢打造的铠甲,而且石越多年征战,经验丰富,慕容垂马上就完蛋!”
没有想到慕容农趁夜偷袭,一举摧毁了骄傲轻敌的石越大军,把河北的形势搅得是一片糜烂。关中地区慕容家族的慕容冲、慕容弘趁机造反,不几年,苻坚的政权彻底被摧毁,苻坚在五将山被俘虏杀害。
枭雄指数:8.5
日志日期:2005-1-22 星期六(Saturday) 晴
ganxc 2005-1-22 10:49 说:
NO7石勒
我们都知道闻鸡起舞吧,那闻鸡起舞的租逖过长江,讨伐的主要是谁呢?就是当时北方各国中实力最强大的后赵石勒。
石勒建国的时候,西边有势力强大的后秦姚弘,东边有强大的燕国。他代表的是五胡中实力比较若的一胡——羯族,但是他充分的利用了燕国内部的矛盾,极力分化瓦解,一会儿跟这个联盟,一会儿又跟那个联盟。把个欣欣向荣的燕国给搞得乱七八糟,同时出了好几个皇帝。最后燕国的几支子人死的死亡得亡,最后只剩下了慕容德一个,逃到了山东中南部一带搞了个小国家,历史上称做南燕。
石勒不怎么认字儿,看书的时候要靠别人读给他听。不过这个人聪明过人,一点就透。比如有一次手下给他读《汉书》,说到:有个谋士给刘邦出主意,让他重新扶植六国的王,用来招揽人心。石勒听到这里大惊:“坏了坏了,听这个人的主意可就完蛋了!”手下赶紧说:“陛下,没事儿,后来张良又劝阻了。”石勒这才放心下来。
他还非常倚重一个汉族的知识分子叫——张宾,封他做右侯。给自己出主意,后来张宾死了,他很伤心:“我的右侯死了,我可怎么办啊。”
枭雄雄指数:7
NO6刘裕
这个人的外号叫——寄奴,可见他出身的寒践。小时候有几个铁哥们,一个叫刘毅、另一个就叫做何无忌,仨人怎么认识的呢?在赌桌上认识的,刘毅喜欢赌博,自己呢又没什么钱,还老赌得特别大,有一次在赌场上跟人争吵,被刘裕和何无忌看上了,也不知道为什么,非常对脾气,就开始结交了。后来东晋内部一个姓孙(孙什么来着给忘了)的起来造反,这哥仨终于找了个机会去投军,从此出头。
平定叛乱后,他做了个官,可当时在东晋政权里,谁都没有注意到他。当时控制朝廷大权的是宰相桓玄,桓玄呢这个人志大才疏,老想当皇帝,把自己的异己杀了个差不多以后,就谋划着当皇帝。这个时候刘裕觉得机会来了,就跟他两个铁哥们开始举旗造反。桓玄吓坏了,他手下不明白,就问:“这么几个赌棍能成什么事儿啊?”桓玄说:“不是,刘裕这个人足可以称得上是当代英雄了;刘毅呢?一分钱没有,可是赌博的时候却压上了千万身家,可见这个人的胆子;何无忌聪明勇武,跟他舅舅刘牢之(东晋肥水大战的头号功臣)很象,这几个人叛乱,可不能大意。”
后来刘裕果然干掉了桓玄,取得了东晋的实权。这时候刘毅不服他了,觉得自己才华怎么看也不在刘裕之下,就开始不满,并在江陵一带准备造反。刘裕假装不知道,还亲哥哥热弟弟的对待刘毅,使他放松了警惕,同时秘密的命令自己的大将王镇恶率领船队秘密的偷袭江陵,等到王镇恶打到江陵的时候,刘毅还没明白怎么回事儿呢就被抓了。
后来王镇恶的功劳越来越大,带兵作为先贰颉蝤攻关中,一举攻克长安。刘裕把太子留在了关中,他对王镇恶并不放心,就对同时留守的大将沈田子说:“你们给我盯着王镇恶一点儿。”沈田子本来就对王镇恶不服,有点抱怨的说:“怎么盯?兵权在他手里。”刘裕狡猾的说:“咳,你们这么多人,还对付不了他,军队多,他能天天丁颉颞在身边?”后来果然,沈田子出于嫉妒王镇恶就把他杀了,王镇恶功劳大,威望高,举朝尊敬。一听说这个事儿,都齐声痛骂沈田子。这个时候刘裕翻了脸,一边儿给王镇恶正名,一边发布诏书痛骂沈,把沈给逼的最后只好投了外国。
后来北魏的皇帝拓拔硅跟大臣崔浩聊天,拓拔硅说:“你说刘裕跟慕容垂相比,谁更厉害点儿?”崔浩想都没想:“当然是刘裕了。”皇帝问:“为什么?”崔浩答道:“慕容垂本来就是亡国的贵族,在故国有一套自己的人际关系,回去以后稍微利用一下,就能纠集起一支队伍。刘裕本身出身是个地痞无赖,身份寒微,短短几年就做了皇帝,当然还是刘裕厉害了!”
枭雄雄指数:9
NO5高欢
高欢死后的庙号叫“神武帝”,他也真行,不亏这个称号,真是又神又武。他年轻的时候吧,跟着北魏的天柱大将军尔朱荣打天下,跟随尔朱荣一举灭掉了河北葛荣发动的叛乱,在战斗中勇猛机智,深得赏识。后来尔朱荣呢?不安分,干脆带兵进攻洛阳,一下子就掌握了北魏的实权。按理说做到这儿也就差不多了,可是尔朱荣这个大老粗他瞎搞,生怕大臣们不服,结果把三百多个大臣给捆起来扔到洛水里去了,还杀害了当朝太后!一下子把自己的名声给搞臭了,这个时候呢?他还是不管,破罐子破摔,一气的胡来,什么强◎◎宫女啊,侮辱皇帝啊,什么恶心他干什么。
高欢这个时候就发现尔朱荣成不了什么事,开始注意疏远他。有人就对尔朱荣说:“高欢这小子不识抬举,干脆别搭理他了。”尔朱荣一阵冷笑:“你们觉得谁以后能代替我?继承我的基业?”手下人说:“当然是您儿子尔朱兆了。”尔朱荣说:“错啦,我那儿子有勇无谋,顶多让他带三千骑兵。你们看着吧,以后统领大军的,一定是贺六混(高欢的小名。)。”高欢听了后很害怕。
尔朱荣临死的时候对儿子说:“你要么推高欢做军中的主人,要么就杀了他,反正你别妄想去笼络他。”尔朱兆没怎么往心里去,后来他招高欢来祭奠尔朱荣,高欢真的就来了。上去抱着尔朱荣的灵牌号啕大哭,哭得比尔朱兆还伤心!!!尔朱兆手下有个谋士对他说:“高欢这个家伙是个枭雄,赶快杀了他!”尔朱兆抹着眼泪说:“你瞧瞧人家哭的多伤心,亲爸爸死了也就这样了,太感人了,太感人了。你个没心没肺的东西居然还要我杀这样的好人!”高欢哭完了后,对尔朱兆说:“行了,来了也哭了,总算了了一件心事,我得回去了。”尔朱兆就放他走了,他手下的谋士一个劲儿的怂恿:“高欢回去了,这是放虎归山!”尔朱兆架不住一顿说,就带了人马去追,到了黄河边上,追上了,高欢也带了些兵,驻扎在河边上。尔朱兆让他到自己军中说话,高欢不干,尔朱兆说:“我去你军中,总可以了吧。”这小子还真够胆色,单枪匹马的就来到了高欢的中军,高欢和尔朱荣抱在了一起,放声痛哭:“天柱将军死了,以后我就依靠少主子了!还敢有什么其他的心思啊。”还安排尔朱荣在自己军中住了一夜,手下好多人都劝高欢杀了尔朱兆,高欢死活不干:“你们傻啊,尔朱荣儿子那么多,都想当皇帝,你杀了一个,就帮了其他人的忙。还把我们放在一个众矢之的的位置。留着他,让他们哥几个窝里反,省我们多少事儿!”
后来高欢回到了自己的驻地,开始招兵买马,任用了吕婆楼、慕容绍宗一帮文臣武将迅速崛起。可是还是没有公开跟尔朱兆翻脸,后来听说尔朱兆打了一个大败仗,高欢乐坏了,拍着大腿儿叫道:“这下子算是反定了!”军中推他做讨伐尔朱兆的领袖,他还假装不干:“你们没看见葛荣吗?号称百万军队,还是完蛋了,你们拥戴我,除非把命都交到我手里,让我有生杀大权,否则我不干。”推了好几次,最后大家终于答应了。
后来高欢就当了北魏的丞相,有个大臣叫宇文泰的跟他不合,这小子也是个枭雄,就劫持了皇帝跑到长安去了。高欢只好另立一个皇帝,从此以后北魏分裂成了两个国家——东魏和西魏。
在讨伐西魏的玉碧之战中,由于老打不下来,高欢郁闷死了,临死前对儿子说:“大臣们对我都很忠心,就是侯景不安分,不过没关系,你提拔一下慕容绍宗,以后侯景如果造反,他可以对付。”后来果然侯景造反了,也果然被慕容绍宗打败了,高欢死了死了还不忘记算计人,一代枭雄不让曹操。
枭雄指数:9.5
ganxc 2005-1-22 10:53 说:
NO4朱温
这家伙前后跟了两个主子,后来看看都不着调,干脆干掉了皇帝自己当主子。张飞骂吕布是三姓家奴,朱温其实也差不多。
开始的时候跟着黄巢打天下,也算是一号人物吧,黄巢横扫江南的时候这小子就出了不少的力,后来回军关中攻克长安,朱温也立了功,黄巢就给他一个大官做,把他看成自己的心腹。后来唐朝借了沙陀兵两面夹击黄巢,黄巢有点儿顶不住,朱温这小子看准机会临阵反水,结果黄巢军一下子就完蛋了。
他投降了唐朝,由于灭黄巢功劳大,官儿当到了上将军。这小子还有一个优点是嘴甜,看谁巴结谁。有一次开军事会,他看到了沙陀的将领李克用,上去就恭维,说李将军英明神武,是大唐的中流砥柱,而自己呢舔列将位,实在是不称职。李克用是沙陀名将,出身高贵,很瞧不起这种低级马屁,况且他看不上朱温这样的墙头草。翻了下眼皮:“你?还舔列将位?你是个滑头,看着黄巢不行了,找准机会就反草,真是太滑头了。”朱温心里这个气啊,回去以后越想越气,就派兵半夜去围住李克用的府邸。李克用根本没想到朱温这么下三滥,幸亏媳妇和干儿子李存孝都很厉害,保护李克用冲出了重围,可是李克用的家人有不少被乱兵杀死了,从此两帮人结了大仇。
朱温赶走了李克用后,自己独抓朝政,这个时候就想起了当皇帝,就派人逼迫皇帝写退位诏书。写了,也拿来了,他还不干,还要玩儿什么“三辞”。假惺惺拉拉扯扯好几回,终于是当上了。按理说禅让禅让,你总得给原来的皇帝皇帝一个好归宿吧,曹丕也没杀汉献帝不是?他不干,还是整了点儿毒药把皇帝给弄死了。这小子也真对不起皇帝给他起的新名字——朱全忠。
这一杀可给了李克用一个大把柄,李克用开始号召天下诸侯讨伐朱温,可惜李克用短命,没几年就死了。朱温这个后梁皇帝又稳当了,稳当了以后就开始干坏事儿。这家伙好色,自己有几十个老婆还不满足,宫女他也不放过,最后统统都糟蹋了一遍后又看上了自己的两个儿媳妇!每次出兵打仗自己坐大车,一边搂着自己一个儿媳妇。每次跟士兵训话,士兵们都交头接耳的说:“看,皇帝带着儿媳妇出来了。”
枭雄指数:6.5 混帐指数:10
NO3赵匡胤
自古开国皇帝没有不◎◎的,赵匡胤名声算好的了,可是阴事儿也没少干了。比如:
例子一:那就要算黄桥兵变了。按道理来说,后周的几个皇帝对赵匡胤非常不错,尤其是周世宗柴荣,对他相当好。提拔、升官、给兵权。柴荣死后赵匡胤年纪轻轻的就做了检点的大官,柴荣还把儿子柴宗训托付给了赵匡胤,可是赵匡胤不满足,想当皇帝,想到周朝对自己不错,不好意恕颉虻,老长吁短叹的。就嘱咐自己的铁哥们什么石守信啊、高怀德之流啊就开始为他想办法,后来捏造了个契丹入侵边境,那当然得这个检点出兵讨伐了,到了黄桥这个地方。石守信他们就开始鼓动士兵哗变,非要推他当天子,赵匡胤也真行,死活不答应,还哭着喊着说那样对不起世宗。士兵们不干,上去就把皇帝的衣服给他穿上了,硬架着他回京城。
结果后周的孤儿寡母哪儿顶得住这帮虎狼的催逼,写了退位诏书,这就是著名的黄袍加身了。结果呢?赵匡胤登了皇帝位比谁都绝,一刀一个把小皇帝柴宗训和太后给杀了。当然最后毕竟过意不去,对老柴家还是比较优待的,我们看《水浒》为什么那个柴大官人那么牛,什么犯人都敢收留呢?因为他也老柴家的后代,受宋王朝的礼遇,也算是赵匡胤给自己积的点儿阴德吧。
例子二:杯酒释兵权;赵匡胤有一点儿不错,什么事儿都喜欢拐弯抹角的干,也不直说,不声不响的把事儿办了还不伤别人的面子。有一次他跟手下一帮将军喝酒,喝着喝着就开始叹气,石守信他们纳闷,就问:“您这是怎么啦?当了皇帝还这么难受?”赵匡胤吧嗒吧嗒嘴叹道:“就是当了皇帝才难受,不瞒哥几个,我现在天天失眠。”几个将军傻了:“为什么啊?”赵匡胤盯着他们把声音放低:“我是你们拥戴的,假如某一天,你们的手下也把黄袍穿到你们身上上,硬逼着你们当皇帝,那你们不干都不成。”石守信他们吓的尿了裤子:“皇上,您给指条活路吧。”赵匡胤说:“你们呢?把兵权交给我,回家去好好的养老,我呢,对待你们还象哥们,以后呢我还要跟你们接亲家,到时候没事儿咱们互相串串门什么的不挺好吗?”这几个将军都听傻了。
例子三:五代的时候宰相的权利很大,这也成了赵匡胤的一个心事。当时宰相跟皇帝议事的时候都坐着,赵匡胤当了皇帝就觉得这样不爽。于是有一天,他把宰相范质给找来谈事儿。范质捧着个折子大模大样的坐在赵匡胤对面,吐沫星子四贱的在那说,赵匡胤皱着眉头想办法……等说的个差不多了,赵匡胤好象不经意的说:“有几处没听明白,你把折子拿过来我看看。”范质站起来走到皇帝跟前把折子递了上去,退回来正要坐,查点蹲了屁墩——凳子让太监给撤了!!!好在范质并不呆,没有傻忽忽的跟皇帝要椅子,就顺势站在了下面,从此以后大宋朝就有了规矩,皇帝坐着,大臣站着……
枭雄指数:7.5
NO2朱元璋
朱元璋打小也有一帮好哥们,什么徐达啊、汤和啊、邓愈之类的,家都在凤阳。小时候给地主放牛,几个人饿了,没东西吃,朱元璋出主意:“咱们把牛给吃了吧。”这帮孩子都听他的,就动手把牛杀了吃了。吃完后开始发愁回去怎么交代,朱元璋说:“这事儿简单。”于是走到悬崖边把牛尾巴夹在两块石头中间,回去报告说牛自己掉悬崖下面去了,自己拉尾巴也没拉住。把个地主弄得没办法。
后来投靠郭子兴的红巾军,郭很喜欢他,就做主把后来的马皇后许配给了他。要说朱元璋真找了个好老婆,一次朱犯事儿被郭关了起来,不给吃的,马皇后就弄了几张烙饼送进去。这个时候郭的手下来了,马皇后赶紧把饼放在衣服里,等那个手下走了后,马皇后把饼拿出来,饼太烫,居然在胸口烫了个大红印,朱元璋摸着马皇后的烫伤哭了。后来郭死了,朱代替了他的位置,势力越来越大。正当他要做大事的时候,坏消息来了,北方的刘福通败了,把红巾军推举的皇帝韩林儿送了过来,朱元璋也是红巾军啊,这个皇帝就成了烫手的山芋,不想要又不能不要。于是就安排手下大将傅友德去接这个韩林儿,在过长江的时候,也不知道这个船是怎么搞的,漏了,傅友德呢自己会水,扔下船跑了,把个皇帝活脱脱的给淹死了!!!为这事儿朱元璋没少哭鼻子,可是傅友德呢?照样当他的大将!一点儿事儿都没有。
还有一件事情《明史》就没有记载了,说徐达病了,这个病不能吃发的食品,比如鹅。朱元璋呢?硬给徐达送了个烧鹅,皇帝送的啊,徐达没办法,硬着头皮吃了,果然吃死了。后来把这个历史事件叫——蒸鹅之赐,很多资料中转载过,不知道是真是假。不过看看朱元璋对待功臣的态度,应该差不多。
枭雄指数:9
NO1越王勾践
写到最后才想起这个人来,我的十大里无论如何也要给他留个位置。这小子本来就是个无赖角色,吴越之间是怎么结的仇?就是这个家伙干的好事儿。当年人家孙子伍员讨伐楚国,由于伍员做的太过火,被楚国人借秦兵给打了回来。勾践一看机会来了,就开始骚扰吴的边境,吴王阖闾气不过,带兵过来打。勾践呢?也真行,知道自己打不过,就弄了一帮死刑犯放在阵前,当然事先都重重的赏赐了他们家属。这些死刑犯呢就对吴军大喊:“我们都是越国的士兵,由于以前打了败仗,觉得羞愧,回去没法见故乡人,今天当着敌人自杀!”说完后齐刷刷的抹脖子!吴国的军队再厉害也没见过这样的流氓的啊,都腿肚子转筋,于是勾践指挥大军一通杀,把吴国打败了,还把阖闾打得重伤,死了。
这小子这一仗靠流氓打法取胜了,可是还有更流氓的呢,他趁着吴大丧,又出兵伐吴!这下子吴同仇敌忾,把他俘虏了。这小子更能装孙子,鞍前马后的侍奉夫差,夫差病了,他居然上去给人家尝粪!!!真是够狠!后来损着更是一个接一个,送美女,送珠宝,捎带着还给离间吴国的两个宰相伍员和伯痞,生生的把个大英雄伍员给弄死了!
有一件事情也很有代表性,有一次越歉收,向吴借稻种,吴很慷慨的给了越。等吴国歉收了,向越借种子,越居然把种子全部煮了一遍送给了吴,结果粮食没种出来还饿死了不少老百姓。勾践还大言不惭的说吴国的土地不适合种越国的种子,夫差呢,还真信了。
后来的事儿大家都知道了,勾践还是趁吴举国远征的时候偷袭了一把,把个吴给弄的疲惫不堪,后来灭了吴。这事儿听起来就觉得吴很冤,从头到尾招谁惹谁了?
勾践的所作所为他的大臣范黎看得很清楚,功成之后就找个理由走掉了。临走的时候有点舍不得多年的老伙计文种,忍不住提醒了一下:“大王这个人啊,阴险毒辣,只能共患难,不能同享乐啊,你还是跟我一起走吧。”文种正陶醉在成功的喜悦里,哪里舍得挪窝啊:“吃了这么多年的苦,现在总算出了头,你痴呆啊,就这么走了?”范黎没有办法,自己跑掉了。
果然勾践上台后的头一件大事就是处死两个人,一个是伯痞,另一个就是文种。他笑眯眯的给了文种一把剑:“你给我提供了五条灭吴的计谋,我用了三条就把吴给灭了,剩下的两条我也不想听了,你去地下说给先王们听吧。”文种:“……”
枭雄指数:10
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